On the Heels of Change

I’ve been thinking a lot about change lately. What does it really mean to change? How does someone truly change? Should people try to change? Can people really change? Why is change usually so hard? Yeah, I’ve been thinking a lot lately…can’t help it, I’m a pisces. Did you know Benicio Del Toro is a pisces too? Gosh, I love him. Anywho, back to change. So I’ve been working through a bunch of changes as of late. And yeah, change is hard, real hard sometimes. It’s funny how easy it is to get very comfortable with a daily routine we create for ourselves, either consciously or subconsciously. It’s funny and kinda scary at the same time. I mean, one of the reasons I decided to quit work, move to a new place and go back to school is because of a routine that I created for myself over the course of a few years. This routine wasn’t good for me. It was killing me (killing me softly as Roberta Flack would say). The routine might’ve been good in the beginning, when I first started it. But it was time for a change once this routine started to prevent me from learning new things, growing, and moving forward in my life. I try not to think about how long it took me to finally scrounge up the guts to make a change. Man, it took me way too long. But I finally did it, finally made some real changes, and it feels good…most of the time. I mean, I’m still at a stage where I occasionally feel like going back to my old routine, because it was comfortable and still feels more familiar to me at this point. But when I feel like going back, I remind myself of all the good that has come from the changes I decided to make and all the good that I believe is still to come if I continue to move forward with the change. I know routines are a necessary part of life. And I don’t think they’re bad unless they start preventing you from growing and experiencing new things. In trying to keep up with the spirit of experiencing new things, I recently made a few purchases and need your input. Okay, those who know me well, know that I’m rarely caught wearing heels of any type. I would say that 95% of the time, I’m kickin’ it in a pair of Vans or Rocket Dogs (see Exhibits A, B, and C below). Well, I’m thinkin’ that it’s time for a shift. I think that it’s time for me to start wearing heels like all the other grown up girls. So I bought a few pairs of heels not too long ago (see Exhibits D, E, and F). I’ve had a chance to try out one of ‘em a couple times, and it’s been a bumpy road. I mean, they’re not the most comfortable things to walk in. I find myself missing my Vans real bad whenever I’ve tried my new heels out. So what do you think? Should I stick with my new heels and trash my old sneaks? Or should I return the new ones and continue to kick it in the more comfy shoes? I dunno, change is hard sometimes.

EXHIBIT A:

Ahhh, the Rockets. I wear these all the time, probably a bit too much.

EXHIBIT B:

These Vans have been my very good friends for many years now. They're so thrashed, I should've thrown them away years ago. But it's hard to part with good friends.

EXHIBIT C:

Aren't these cool? A little beat up though. I have a white pair too. Ha!

EXHIBIT D:

I call these eye stabbers, 'cause they double as weapons to be used in self-defense. If I was ever in danger, I could just take these off and start eye stabbing to defend myself. Hey look at how desolate it is under my bed.

EXHIBIT E:

They're wedges!

EXHIBIT F:

I needed a black pair...I'm not sure about the buckles.