This Morning I Woke Up Thinking About How...

One time this guy I was dating came over to my place to pick me up in a car that wasn’t his own. He normally drove an old truck with bondo on its side, but this time he was driving a shiny black Porsche. I soon discovered that how he got a hold of the Porsche wasn’t nearly as interesting as it should have been. Don’t think I haven’t realized that showing up in a Porsche is supposed to be impressive or something. But the truth is that I very much preferred his old truck with bondo on its side. Sometimes guys are dumb.

Why It's Hard for Me to Make New Friends

I don’t do very well in large groups. I’m usually much more comfortable in a one-on-one type of situation. One time I drove to the local movie theatre to meet up with my good friend Dave and about a couple hundred of his pals. Upon arrival it became clear to me that Dave was the only person I knew out of everyone making up his gigantic crowd. I was actually coping with this situation until I took my seat in the theatre. Dave sat down to my right and one of his girlfriends was sitting down to my left. Dave was nice enough to introduce me to this girl before he got up to go to the snack bar. At that point I said hi to my new acquaintance and offered to share my box of Junior Mints with her. She said no thanks to the Junior Mints (What kind of person says no to JMs?!) and then proceeded to ask, “So, how do you know Dave?” Little did the girl know that this question is one of my top ten least favorite questions of all time. So, how do you know So-And-So? Aside from a formal job interview sort of situation, I think posing this particular question is not only arbitrary but also completely useless in obtaining any meaningful information about someone you’re really trying to get to know. Well I met him while waiting in line at Café Rio about two years ago. So what! Because of my low opinion of the question, I quickly deduced that this girl wasn’t trying to get to know me at all. So I took the low road and replied by telling her that I was Dave’s 2nd cousin from Las Cruces. I guess I had New Mexico on my mind that night. This answer seemed to satisfy her curiosity as she didn’t ask me any other questions after that. I know that fibbing was more than a little bit childish of me, but I was annoyed and had a feeling that I wouldn’t be seeing more of this girl in the future…She didn’t strike me as the type that enjoys associating with people from Las Cruces.

A Sure Remedy for Doubt

With this torturous Fall semester over and done with, I can finally see the light at the end of my master's degree tunnel—the tunnel I've been in for the last two years. I can't believe it's been two years. It feels like it's been ten. Now that I can actually see the end nearing {Don't worry, by "end" I mean the end of working on my degree.}, I'm often left with a feeling of doubt. Doubt that I'll be able to know what do to and where to go after I'm finished with school. Doubt that I'll be able to pull off my master plan. And what in the world is my "master plan" anyway? Can someone please tell me so I can get on with my life?! Man, so much angst. I feel just like Angela Chase felt right after Jordan Catalano decided to cruelly ignore her at the Buffalo Tom concert. Oooh, by the way, I finally got to see Jordan Cat...uhh, I mean Jared Leto in person! Yes, it's true. I was no more than 10 feet away from him at one point during the 30 Seconds to Mars concert a couple weeks ago. Awesome. And he's just as beautiful in person as I've always imagined he would be. Anyway, back to my angst. Whenever I've been a bit overwhelmed with these feelings of doubt, I've found that referring to the long list of great things in my life immediately washes away my anxiety. Reference to said list is a sure remedy for doubt. Works every time for me. And here's just a swatch of the many things I am truly grateful for—just some of the great things that add so much to my so-called life {sorry, had to throw one more Angela Chase reference in here}.

I'm grateful for the homemade centaur costumes that Matt and Leesh donned this past Halloween.

I'm grateful for Dave Grohl.

I'm grateful for Grandma Fern and the fact that she has never failed to wish me a happy birthday.

I'm grateful for being able to live with Hughler for the past two years. Poor Hugh passed away last Friday. Hugh's one responsibility while on earth was to be a true and loyal friend to Phil, and he fulfilled that responsibility perfectly. I miss him.

I'm grateful for Elvis and recently found out that The King is still alive and well! J/K, J/K, that's Isaiah, wearing yet another incredible homemade Halloween costume. And for that, I'm very grateful.

I'm grateful for Phil and for all the ways he helps me figure things out.

I'm grateful for irreplaceable friends like Mandy who are always willing to hop into photo booths with me.

I'm grateful for my fashionable niece and how she has taught me that there are only two certainties in life: 1) Animal print never goes out of style and 2) A girl should NEVER leave her house without a purse.

I'm grateful for Ruth and how she manages to make life more cozy.

I'm also grateful for long sidewalks and how they're perfect places to go when you need to mull something over in your head. {I love this picture of little peestola}

There's so much more I'm grateful for, but I'll stop here for now. Thanks for reading my blog.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Hands

Everybody in my family has different hands. My dad’s hands are thick and calloused, folded together, patiently waiting for the next question. Melinda’s hands are always moving, moving, moving—appearing out of nowhere to pinch you when you’re not paying attention. Matt’s hands are open and have nothing to hide—what you see is what you get. My hands are plain with neglected fingernails begging for a coat of paint. Maria’s hands are up in the air, dramatic and expressive when there’s something in need of explanation. And Melanie, my baby sister, has elegant hands—long and poised and ready for their next challenge.

But my mother’s hands, my mother’s hands, like soft meringue all featherweight and airy, so delicate you’re afraid you’ll hurt them if you hold them the wrong way, silky to the touch with pretty pink fingernails because she just came back from the manicurist, are the warm dinner waiting for you when you get home, are painfully curled into themselves but determined, constantly in motion, always marching toward a grand goal, working, sewing, producing, creating beauty in spite of their sickness, fragile yet so strong, ignoring their handicap while going about daily chores, can’t move like mine, can’t move like most but still manage to hold me in tighter, grab my face and somehow convince me of my own importance, hold me up higher than any other pair of hands have ever managed. Holding me in tighter, holding me up higher, my mother’s hands, like soft meringue.

Retro Photo of the Week

I'm not sure what year this was taken, but if our sweaty, tired faces are any indication, I'm pretty sure it must have been taken after we were done trick-or-treating for the night. Maria's face is priceless + she's already in her PJs. And I'm not sure why Melinda is not in costume. Those were the days.

The Lost Art of Flannel Shirting

I'm planning on going to the Pearl Jam show tomorrow night and the pre-show excitement has got me all nostalgic about the good 'ol days of flannel shirts and Jordan Catalano. Do you remember this? Isn't it so great when he grabs her hand? *sigh* I loved this show so much.

Musing in the Shower

An old friend tagged me on facebook recently. It was one of those tags that invite you to answer a bunch of questions about yourself and after answering you’re supposed to publish your answers for all of your facebook friends to see. Do I enjoy filling out these types of questionnaires? Yes, yes I actually do. Am I going to answer these questions and publish this information on facebook? No way. Am I going to answer these questions and publish this information on my blog? Hells yeah! Ha! For some reason I don’t feel comfortable burdening people’s “news feeds” with a bunch of trivia about myself. I do, however, feel completely comfortable posting this meaningless information about myself on my blog. I mean, that’s what a blog is for, right? I guess it depends on what blog we’re talking about. As for me, my blog’s purpose is simple, and there’s a reason behind me making this blog, my little piece of the world-wide-web, private. So for those of you who care to read my answers (found at the bottom of this post) to this facebook-initiated questionnaire, go right on ahead!

While in the shower this morning, I got to thinking about the process of getting to know people. I think all this silly facebook tagging got me thinking about the subject, and I came up with one main question: How do you really get to know someone for who they actually are? This friend of mine who tagged me on facebook said that she tagged me because she wanted to get to know me better. Now, I know the tag was only meant for fun, so no big deal. It is what it is. But the stated purpose of the tag is not going to be met…she’s not really going to get to know me through this series of silly questions nor is she going to get to know me on any kind of real level by simply being my “facebook friend.” Like I said before, this facebook stuff is all in good fun, no big deal. In addition, I realize that people don’t get on facebook in order to get to know people on a real level or to get a deeper meaning out of life in general (at least I hope nobody gets on that site with that aim), but the whole thing just got me to thinking.

So back to my question that came to me in the shower this morning: How do you really get to know someone for who they actually are?

One thing I know is that getting to know a person is usually not the easiest thing in the world and requires a lot of selflessness and sincerity. It is also something that can’t be measured in time. In other words, just because someone says they’ve known so-and-so for X number of years, doesn’t mean they know so-and-so all that well. As a case in point, someone who I would count as a good friend decided to set me up with some guy that she’s “known for years.” This friend of mine said that she thought I’d really like this guy because, and I quote, “Like you, Monica, he’s not too overwhelmingly Mormony.” First of all, I know she didn't mean any harm by telling me that. But go HERE to find out how I feel when people are shocked after finding out that I'm LDS or how I feel when people, who know that I'm LDS, describe me as not being very “Mormony.” Why do people feel this way about me? Is it because some of the best friends I have are not LDS? Is it because of my love of indie rock music and concerts? Is it because of my shoes? I don’t blame anyone who may feel this way about me, because it happens often enough that I know I must be doing something to help form this opinion of me. But I’ll have you know that THIS DAY happens to be the happiest of my entire life. Which I hope says a lot. Anyway, I’ll stop harping on this phenomenon for now since I’m in the middle of telling you this illustrative blind date story. So I end up going out more than a couple of times with this guy that my good friend set me up with and come to realize that he is one of the more faithful members of the church I’ve ever met. Go figure. And the friend who set us up said that she’s known this guy for years. It makes me wonder why she doesn’t realize how faithful he actually is. As a second case in point, another good of friend of mine decided to set me up with a guy who she said was a really, really nice guy. A real sweetheart and good member of the church she says. Well, this guy turned out to be anything but a good member of the church. In fact, he turned out to be a straight-up rogue. Any lessons learned from these experiences? Yes. One of the very important lessons being that labels don’t count for jack squat. I don’t ever want to be caught thinking that I know who someone is just because of a label someone else decides to put on that person. So when it comes to discovering things about somebody, it’s best to go directly to that person, the true source of information, rather than relying on what someone else decides to tell you. Sure, the guy who sat next to me in sacrament meeting today had a really, really bad haircut and a pretty bad lisp to boot. So what. Who am I to say that a really bad haircut makes someone less worthy of getting to know? The bad haircut and lisp shouldn’t stop me from trying to be this guy’s friend. Who knows, maybe this dude will turn out to be one of the best friends I’ll ever have. *NOTE TO SELF: Make sure to spark up a conversation with bad haircut/lisp dude next Sunday.* Life simply isn’t as exciting or full without good, true friends surrounding you. In short, I really believe that it pays off to take chances on people, regardless of what other people say about them, their religion of choice, or their bad haircut. I just wish it wasn’t so hard to take those chances…at least I know it’s hard for me. I think it seems hard, because half the time you don’t get back nearly as much as you put in. But it really pays off in the end if you’re able to gain a good friend out of the whole process. Have I managed to answer my question that sparked all this rambling? Nope, not really. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow morning’s shower. Maybe I’ll come up with a brilliant answer whilst shampooing my hair tomorrow. I’ll be sure to let you know when I come up with something brilliant. Until then, just know that I’m Monica, I’m LDS, I’m a pisces, I have brown eyes, and I love to go to rock concerts. If you’re interested to know anything beyond that, be sure to give me a call and we can setup a time to meet for a hot chocolate or something. It’s easiest to get to know me over a nice cup of hot chocolate.


FOODOLOGY

1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
Ranch

2. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
This is too difficult to answer. I love going out to eat way too much to choose just one.

3. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
Homemade tortillas.

4. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Pepperoni, black olives and mushrooms.

5. What do you like to put on your toast?
There’s this olive oil butter stuff that I really love.

TECHNOLOGY

1. How many televisions are in your house?
3

2.the color of your cell phone?
black

3. How long would it take you to look up who invented the Rubber Band?
Probably about 5 seconds since I’m on the computer right now and can google anything I want.

4. Have any idea how many Megahertz your computer has?
No.

BIOLOGY

1. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
Right

2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Wisdom teeth is all.

3. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
My 1 year old nephew, Rocky. That kid weighs a ton.

4. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
No, but I’ve passed out plenty of times.

BULLCRAPOLOGY

1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
No!

2. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
I would call myself Stella. I’ve always loved that name.

3. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
Right now, at this time in my life and non-career, yes. Very sad, but yes I would.

DUMBOLOGY

1. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
Let’s see, I think 3.

2. Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
What qualifies as a “run-in?” I would have to say it’s been more than four years ago…got pulled over for speeding down State Street in Salt Lake.

3. Last person you talked to?
Ruth.

4. Last person you hugged?
My niece, Maya.

FAVORITOLOGY

1. Season?
I used to always say Summer, but now that I’ve learned to love snowboarding, I might have to say Winter.

2. Holiday?
Labor Day. It comes at the perfect time.

3. Day of the week?
I like Thursdays the most.

4. Month?
March.

CURRENTOLOGY

1. Missing someone?
Yes.

2. Mood?
Apprehensive.


3. What are you listening to?
Are we talking, like, right now? Nothing. Silence. I just finished up reading Dracula and I can’t read or write with a lot of ambient noise.

4. Watching?
Again, if we’re talking about right now, I’m just watching my computer screen. But if we’re talking about general television watching, then I’ve been paying attention to the U.S. Open and if I have any spare time, I like to watch The Barefoot Contessa on the Food Network. Oh and once LOST starts back up again, you better believe I’ll be watching that.

RANDOMOLOGY

1. First place you went this morning?
Upstairs to get my daily dose of Honey Bunches of Oats.

2. What's the last movie you saw?
I watched part of this really strange movie on the plane to New York called Grey Gardens. Pretty depressing.

3. Do you smile often?
I’ve been told that I don’t smile enough.

4. Sleeping Alone Tonight?
Yes.

OTHER-OLOGY
1. Do you always answer your phone?
Not always. Thank goodness for caller id and voicemail.

2. Its four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
Either one of my three sisters or the shady kid who lives across the street from me…I made the mistake of giving him my number over a year ago. Mistake.

3. If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Violet.

4. Do you own a digital camera?
Yes!

5. Have you ever had a pet fish?
No. But I’ve had a pet rock.

6. Favorite Christmas song(s).
Silver Bells.


7. What's on your wish list for your birthday?
A new snowboard.

8. Can you do push ups?
Yes…and the real kind too, not the wussy girl kind.

9. Can you do a chin up?
Yes.

10. Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
More excited than nervous.

11. Do you have any saved texts?
Yes.

12. Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes.

13. Do you have an accent?
More than once I’ve been asked if I’m from Florida. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. But yes, I do believe I have some sort of hybrid accent.

14. What is the last song to make you cry?
I’ve never cried because of a song.

15. Plans tonight?
Homework.

16. Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
Yes. I could even give you the exact date and time that I hit if you really wanted to know.

17. Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Uh oh. I wish I could say that I didn’t buy anything, but I ended up at the Gateway somehow and ended up buying 1 blouse and 2 pairs of pants at Anthropology—all on sale of course!

18. Have you ever been given roses?
Yes, for a Valentine’s Day gift a very long time ago.

19. Current worry?
I’m really worried about finishing my action research/thesis project in time for my planned graduation in the Spring. I fear that will be my main worry until May arrives.

20. Current hate right now?
Hate is a strong word. I don’t hate anything right now. But I’m worried about a few things (see question 19 above for one of them).

21. Met someone who changed your life?
Yes.

22. How will you bring in the New Year?
Jubilantly. ☺

23. What song represents you?
Happy Kid by Nada Surf…At least that’s the first one that comes to mind right now.

24. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
YES! I know, kinda sad, but YES I WOULD.

25. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
Yes.

26. Do you have any tattoos/piercings?
Just the traditional single piercing in both ears is all.

27. Will you be in a relationship 4 months from now?
I guess we’re talking romantic relationship? Probably not. Living with Phil and Ruth while going to school and working on the WSU campus isn’t too conducive to the formation of new relationships. But I’m not complaining…Ruth is a fantastic cook.

28. Does anyone love you?
Yes.

29. Ever had someone sing to you?
Yes, but not in a serious way. Just for laughs.

30. When did you last cry?
Hmmm, oh yes, now I remember. ‘Bout 2 weeks ago.

31. Do you like to cuddle?
Not usually.

32. Have you held hands with anyone today?
No.

33. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Whatever records or tapes Phil happened to be listening to at the time. So there was a lot of Beatles and Beach Boys going on.

34. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
Mostly old friends I’ve had for years and years. I’m lucky.

35. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
Well I can handle a little bit of pulp but not too much.

36. Do you believe angels walk among us?
Yes I do.