So the race got me thinking, and I started to mess with my bottom lip. I tend to mess with my bottom lip whenever I start thinking about something for an extended period of time or whenever I'm in the middle of taking an exam or whenever I'm studying some complicated passage in a book. I don't know, it just seems to help me think. So as I was messing with my bottom lip during the aftermath of the upset, listening to the tv commentators break apart the race in an attempt to figure out what went wrong with Big Brown, I couldn't help but think about all the people who were really let down over Big Brown's loss. How many hundreds of people were pulling for this horse? How many thousands? I mean, this was a big race with a lot of money on the line. I found myself feeling pretty disappointed about the result, and I didn't even have any money on the race. I listened as the media unleashed their people to try and track down the reason behind Big Brown's disappointing finish. Everyone kept on saying, "There has to be a good reason behind this," or "There must be something terribly wrong with the horse," or "Big Brown just isn't the type of horse to foul up this bad, so there must be some type of injury involved." Everyone was convinced there was something wrong with the horse. Well it turns out that there was absolutely nothing physically wrong with Big Brown. After several medical exams, doctors reported that Big Brown was perfectly healthy. The horse just wasn't into the race. He just didn't wanna do it. So what that thousands of his adoring fans were rooting for him. The horse was oblivious to the fact that so many were desperately hoping that he would do well, hoping that he would win the race. All Big Brown wanted to do was go back to the stable and relax. It was hot out on the race track, record high temps for the day. Big Brown just didn't wanna race. There were so many people watching that race who were very sad and disappointed that this horse simply didn't care much about doing well at Belmont. So as I thought about this, I thought about the people who may be pulling for me? I mean, besides the usual suspects, Ruth and Phil. Those two are my biggest fans. My Grandma Fern seems to think I'm pretty cool too. But besides my family and friends who are here with me now, are there people that I'm not even aware of who may be rooting for me? How about people who have passed away or people that haven't come into my life yet or people that I've never met? To give you an idea of where I'm going with this let me tell you that I believe that I was supposed to be born into the family that I'm a part of now. So I believe that before I was born, I was a huge supporter of Ruth and Phil long before they even were thinking about having kids. I believe that I've been pulling for my mom and dad all along. So I think that there are people who aren't here with me yet but who really want me to succeed and do the best job that I'm capable of doing. These people aren't even here yet, but their lives will be effected by what type of effort I'm putting forth now. I used to be somewhat of an existentialist. 'Ya know, the type of person that thinks there is nothing they could do that would possibly have any true effect on another person. The type of person that believes their bad choices will only really hurt themselves and not anyone else. In other words, whenever I would do something stupid, I would take solace in the thought that I was only hurting myself. Well I've come to know that our individual actions have the potential to impact a lot of people. Even people we don't realize are cheering for us. I don't know, it makes me think about how I could make a better effort. How I could put more work into trying to finish towards the head of the pack instead of being okay with slowing down halfway through. I can just imagine a room full of people up in heaven somewhere, watching me go through the motions of life, hoping that I won't screw up and do something really stupid, cheering me on so I'll try to do my best. Who knew a horse race would get me thinking about existentialism? Not I.
